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Just a couple days ago my parents told me I was adopted. Part of me is hurt, because they did not tell me sooner. The other half is mad at my birth parents for giving me away. How could they do that to me? I don’t know how to feel right now. What do I do?
Adoption is always a sensitive subject. I assure you, your adoptive parents kept this from you for a good reason. They may have waited to tell you now, because if they’d told you earlier, you’d be too young to understand. I’m sure they had your best interest at heart and would never do anything to hurt you.
Also, I’m sure your biological parents had a valid reason for putting you up for adoption. They may have been too young to give you all the care that you needed and thought that someone else could do better. Don’t ever think that they were simply unwanted. If you want answers you can always start the search to find your biological parents. You’re going to definitely need time to process all this, so you’re going to have mixed feelings for a while. But trust me–it will pass.
If you find that these emotions won’t go away, please reach out to your adoptive parents, a friend or a trusted mentor to help guide you toward receiving professional help. There is nothing wrong with getting help to process your emotions. Good luck to you and I hope everything works out! VFP
This column is not meant to be a substitute for professional medical, legal or financial advice. Questions may be submitted anonymously or via pseudonym to firstname.lastname@example.org, or email@example.com. Gwendolyn Young, M.A., C.P.C., is the Executive Director of Seed of Hope Foundation, a nonprofit girls mentoring organization based in Westchester, IL.
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